Hello, everyone!

I am getting ready to post my first multi-part series (!) but work has been severely curtailed by my child acquiring a movie-monster version of the flu that’s been going on for almost two weeks now. Tried school today and got sent home before noon because poor love is too weak to sit at their desk.

Aaaaaand my cat was sort of scarce over the weekend? Which is hard because he is a massive Maine Coon? So massive msall children have to ask if he IS a cat and not on loan from the zoo? Turned out the magnificent, majestic, and in all ways extraordinary feline Lord Byron, Stormageddon, was hiding and starving himself to death because he has a massive systemic infection that filled his ears with the most grotesque xenomorph pus-blood-foul-ichor fluids I’ve ever known about. Honestly I’m still traumatized from the vampiric theater bukkake of it all (the vet spread the ear open to look at it, the skin split, and pus flew all over her face and across the walls of the room. YEAH.)

In addition to that, my dryer broke, my 17 year old Facebook account was hacked and YOU CAN GUESS HOW EASY THAT IS TO FIX, you don’t even want to know about my water bill last month because I didn’t know a toilet was running for like five weeks due to SOMEONE who is SIX YEARS OLD but I would never SAY WHO, snapped off an Important Part and hid it), and I’m on a crushing novel deadline…with a sick kid and a sick animal both of whom basically need physical contact with me to continue existing at the moment.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING UP IN HERE. LIKE ALL AT ONCE.

So hold tight, I’ll be with everyone in a moment, I have way too much to say about literally everything that’s been happening. I just…am under several wailing bodies at the moment.

And, you know, awkward moment, but Lord Byron is in surgery as we speak, and cat surgery (not to mention dryers and apparently the gold-infused water a toilet produces when it is broken) is very not cheap, so if you were thinking or hemming and hawing over whether to sign up for a paid subscription (and get the extra spicy essays that accompany the main pieces), now would be an awesome time to do that, just saying, no big, totally idle comment you can feel free to ignore. That said, you know…we’re also 5 paid subs away from posting every two weeks on the reg.

Just giving you information. Definitely not feeling the cringe in every cell right now.

Anyway! I’ll see you Monday with part one of Move Fast and Break People: How the Internet Gave Us Everything and Then Took It All Away.

Lord Byron appreciates the support as he journeys through the mad dreams of morphine and wet food post surgery…

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