Kim Davis, that Duggar family reject with hair so dry it has its own red flag warning, is back.

If you don’t remember Davis, lucky you and I’m sorry. Davis was the Rowan County, Kentucky, clerk elected in 2014. In 2015, after the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in Obergefell v. Hodges, Davis refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. She was sued and ordered to issue the licenses. She continued to refuse and spent five days in jail for contempt of court; a judge and jury later ordered her to pay a total of $360,000 in fees and damages.

Davis lost her 2018 reelection bid and has clearly spent the past decade or so doing what Jesus would do — stewing in the juices of her own hate-filled heart. Now she’s bursting back into the American political consciousness like a poorly dressed Kool-Aid man.

Davis recently petitioned the Supreme Court to overturn Obergefell (and also, separately, to overturn an appeals court ruling earlier this year that she really does have to pay that money). While it’s unlikely that the Supreme Court will rehear the case, the fact that this homophobic bridge troll who cosplays as a Christian freedom fighter is rearing her brittle head of hair again is truly a recession indicator. Don’t we deserve a new set of villains — not just the run-through ghouls of the past?

Not to mention gay people and their allies deserve a better enemy than a woman still sporting a Bumpit and a missionary’s reject-pile jean jumpers.

Kim Davis claims she was fighting for her religious freedom, but if that was the case, she should have just resigned from the job. If your job is to dig holes, and then you convert to an anti-hole religion, you don’t get to insist on being paid for not digging holes and then compare yourself to Jesus Christ himself.

Sorry, Kim, you aren’t a freedom fighter. You are using your religion as a tool of oppression rather than a tool of liberation.

As Larry Wilmore pointed out nine years ago, “Going to jail for what you believe in does not necessarily put you on par with Martin Luther King. Jeffrey Dahmer was in jail because he believes in eating people. That doesn’t make him a freedom fighter!”

I am not the first to point out all this sanctity of marriage business is a bit ironic coming from a woman who has been married four times to three different men. I’m not against divorce! I am very pro-divorce. But if you have such a literal interpretation of the Bible, Kim, your divorces count as multiple sins. I mean, per Evangelical math, three divorces? That’s like a butt sex and a little manslaughter.

Also, as Andrew L. Seidel writes in his book American Crusade, Davis also got her job in the first place from a healthy dose of nepotism.

So to recap, the woman who got a nepo baby government job and has had more spouses than Father Abraham is still out here acting like some paragon of holiness. And in the entire decade, she hasn’t bought one bottle of conditioner. I’m honestly not sure which is more offensive.

Anyway, my religion says that I can discriminate against raggedy bitches named Kim Davis, and if you say I cannot, then you are oppressing me and I will take it all the way to the court of Christ himself.

Runner-up: Owen Shroyer

The Vikings have two male cheerleaders. And that’s great.

blaize_shiek

A post shared by @blaize_shiek

But what’s really amazing is how mad it’s making some Vikings fans.

Listen, male cheerleaders have been around for a long time. My little brother was one and the guy is in the Army. He is not what anyone would call “woke.” And he hates when I write about him, so I will stop because he’s better with weapons than anyone else in the family. Except, for me, weirdly, which is a long story that goes back to growing up in Texas and winning a lifetime membership to the NRA at the age of 10 because I won a shooting competition. ANYWAY.

George W. Bush was also a cheerleader! And last season, according to Outsports, seven NFL teams had a total of 18 different male cheerleaders — some gay, some bi, some straight. Additionally, the Panthers had a trans cheerleader.

None of these things has stopped Owen Shroyer, a radio guy who I refuse to learn any more about, from being so mad that he’s spitting. And honestly, I love it. Are you made that your game with the men in tight tights where they pass balls back and forth and between each other's legs might be a little gay? Are you worried that a male cheerleader is going to ruin your view of the scrum of heaving, sweaty bodies of men?

You — a man who cheers for men in sports — are mad that other men are cheering for men in sports, but they have better hair and pom-poms? Are you just furious they have such nice skin? What’s going on?

Actually, I don’t really care. Don’t tell me. Just hire the gayest, cuntiest boys, and put them on the squad. And then let me bask in the impotent outrage of these men. Inject it straight into my veins.

And now for something good

Taylor Swift announced a new album. And she did it on the Kelce brothers’ podcast, which I think is a sign that the patriarchy comes for us all. A new album means that the Swifties now have a new little project and I love that for them. I think Swifties could find and release the Epstein files if they thought Taylor left an Easter egg in there.

Gen Z is making my eye bags trendy.

A special gift just for readers of this newsletter

Last week, I wrote about my newfound love of Trail Mixers, a powdered form of low-dose CBD and THC that my dear friend Megan and her husband created through their company Yonderbound. It combines three of my favorite things — supporting friends, Iowa businesses, and a little THC. And apparently you all loved the idea of them so much that last Friday, Trail Mixers had their biggest sale day ever.

As a “thank you” to the MYAM readers, Trail Mixers is giving us a little deal. Use the code DINGUS10, and it's good for 10% off their entire order. Right now, it'll combine with the free shipping code GETRADICAL for a limited time, so double whammy. Megan says she doesn’t know when the free shipping will end, so order now.

Get Trail Mixers

Something I am enjoying

Summer is always rough as a single mom with no summer childcare. This summer has been even more overwhelming as I have been managing the Iowa Abortion Access fund, hiring a new executive director, starting work on a new book project, and doing some very exciting behind-the-scenes stuff with this newsletter that I think you will all be very pleased to hear about.

This week, my kids asked to make some tea and sit on the couch and talk. This was a tradition that started in 2020 as a way for us to wind down together. We don’t do it every night, but whenever we need some deep heart-to-hearts, the signal is, “I’m going to make some tea, do you want some?”

So, they made tea and we sat on the couch. My daughter asked her brother if he was worried about starting sixth grade and she listened to him and gave him advice on the teachers he will have. And they laughed and talked some serious shit about their school, commiserating together, and there was only a light amount of physical violence.

And despite everything, I just felt so lucky – like I was the richest woman in the world to have these two people and my two dogs, my work, our community, and our little house.

I could use a nap, though.